“You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. Enjoy these funny quotes, a laugh and share with a friend. “What are peers?” he asked. Justice: A decision in your favor. Judge Joke 29 A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. He handed it to Leon … “Now then, I m returning $5,000, and we re going to decide this case solely on its merits.”, Judge Joke 4 A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. Judge Joke 21 When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. Defendant: Yes, I do. Don’t judge my choices if you don’t understand my reasons. Before you judge my life, I suggest you take a good look at your own life. Top 15 Best Things To Do In Goa 2021 October 20, 2020. He complained to St. Peter, who told him that his only recourse was to appeal his assignment. And what did your husband do before you divorced him? The judge replied, “Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. A: Yes, by death. “I m as sober as you are, your honor,” the man claimed. Don’t judge my path if you haven’t walked my journey. Or the classic “save your breath, you’ll need it later to blow up your inflatable date.”. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. Usually, guys are not able to come up with perfect funny stuff to say to a girl on perfect timing. The following judgments include hilarious references to popular culture, double entendres, and wickedly funny insights regarding issues that plaintiffs and defendants may take a bit too seriously. I just saw something that reminded me of you. Yes, I know you.” The lawyer was stunned. Tagged With: clever comebacks for judgmental people, comebacks for judgmental people, comebacks for someone who is judging you, comebacks to say to someone who is judging you, Great answers for someone who is judgmental, great one liners for a judgmental person, how to respond to a someone who is judgmental, I should have said, quotes for any situation, Responding to someone who is judgmental, What to say to a someone who is always judging others, what to say when. The lawyer got out of his car, walked over to the driver of the other car and said, “Boy, are you in trouble. The Best Legal Advice Ever… ... was spotted on a billboard ad for the law office of Larry L. Archie: … Before you judge me, make sure you’re perfect. Top 15 Best Things To Do In Bangalore 2021 October 20, 2020. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000.” The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. I’ll pencil in some time to cry about it later . You think you re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, “If either of you asks her if she knows me, you ll be jailed for contempt!”. Jones ,do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?” “I do.” “Now what do you say to defend yourself?” “Your Honor, under those limitations… nothing.”, Judge Joke 7 The judge said to his dentist: “Pull my tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.”, Judge Joke 8 Judge: “Is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars?” Defendant: “Yes, it’s true.” Judge: “Then, why don’t you just pay him back?” Defendant: “Because it wouldn’t be true anymore.”. “I wasn’t talking to you” the judge replied. Your email address will not be published. Do you understand? The baboons from the zoo just called and they want their butts back, looks like you will need a new face. LIST UPDATED: 03/30/20. I was born to be awesome…. While you were busy judging others, you left your closet door open and a lot of your skeletons fell out. The judge said, “State your name, occupation, and the charge.” The defendant said, “I m Sparks, I m an electrician, charged with battery.” The judge winced and said, “Bailiff! Put this man in a dry cell!”. I don’t think you will be able to change her opinion no matter what you say. Your birth certificate is from a condom factory. “So,” he said, “I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe.” Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. Previous Previous post: Best 50 Things White People Love To Say In 2020 Next Next post: 1345+ Best Random Things To Say (Funny/Weird) 2020. Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury? Every girl likes a guy who can keep her smiling all day long. If she judges you, is she really your friend? “Now sit down at that table and write I will not pass through a red light five hundred times.”, Judge Joke 22 Mr. Schneider stood up in court. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Judge Joke 2. I must have gotten distracted living my life instead of waiting for your texts. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?” She again replied, “Why, yes I do. Before you judge my life, I suggest you take a good look at your own life. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. I m a judge.”, Judge Joke 31 Before a burglary trial, the judge explained to the defendant, “You can let me try your case, or you can choose to have a jury of your peers.” The man thought for a moment.